Green Dragon Eggs and Ham
by DaAlCh
Summary: You should all know what it is about, main features are Arya and Christopher Paolini.


Disclaimer: I do not own Inheritance, or Green Eggs and Ham, those belong to Christopher Paolini and Dr. Seuss, not me, so don't sue me.

This is something I just thought of one day, I really liked the idea, so here it is. I guess the idea came from the fact that the last dragon egg is green, and well... green eggs... and it just kind of formed into this fanfiction. Read, review and enjoy!

So here we are:

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Christopher Paolini was riding through the halls on a thing that looked like a dog. He was holding up a sign that read: I am Paolini.

As he was riding through the halls he passed Arya, who was sitting on a chair reading the 'Atheist Views News'

Arya looked at Chris as he rode by, but almost immediately afterwards, Christopher came riding from the other direction on a cat-like thing. This time holding a sign that said: Paolini I am.

After Christopher rode past, Arya put down her newspaper and exclaimed;

**Arya:** _That Paolini-I-am! That Paolini-I-am! I do not like that Paolini-I-am!_

**Chris:** _Do you like green dragon eggs and ham?_

Arya leaned back into the chair as far as she could, to escape the horribly clichéd stuff.

**Arya:**_ I do not like them, Paolini-I-am. I do not like green dragon eggs and ham._

**Chris:**_ Would you like them here or there?_

Arya was getting annoyed.

**Arya:**_ I would not like them here or there. I would not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Paolini-I-am._

Arya turned her back on him and walked to a nearby house with her nose snootily turned up at him. But suddenly Christopher turned up looking at her from the window of the house, with the green dragon eggs and ham on a table, and on a stool at the table, was a mouse.

**Chris:**_ Would you like them in a house? Would you like them with a mouse?_

**Arya:** _I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a mouse. I do not like them here or there. I do not like them anywhere. I do not like green eggs and ham. I do not like them Paolini-I-am._

She walked away with her arms up in annoyance, but to her even greater annoyance (or was it bewilderment?) she saw Chris sitting on a mat with a were-cat!

**Chris:** _Would you eat them on a mat? Would you eat them with a were-cat?_

The were-cat was chewing on the mouse contently.

Arya was angry now, she marched away down the hill, with her fist in the air.

**Arya:** _Not on a mat. Not with a were-cat. Not in a house. Not with a mouse. I would not eat them here or there. I would not eat them anywhere. I would not eat green dragon eggs and ham. I do not like them, Paolini-I-am._

BLAM!

**Chris:** _Would you? Could you? In a lar? Eat them! Eat them! Here they are._

The Were-cat was still chewing on the mouse.

**Arya:** _Lar! What is a lar! I would not, Could not, in a lar._

**Chris:** _You may like them, you will see. You may like them in book three!_

The lar was racing faster and faster down the hill, and then, got stuck between the pages of book three.

**Arya:** _I would not, could not in book three. Not in a lar! You let me be._

**Chris:** _How about with me?_

**Arya:** _NO, I do not like them on a mat. I do not like them with a were-cat. I do not like them in a house. I do not like them with a half-digested mouse._

A swallowing sound was heard, and then a squeal of a mouse suddenly caught by a were-cat.

**Arya:** _I do not like them here of there. I do not like them anywhere. I do not like them anywhere. I do not like green dragon eggs and ham. I do like them Paolini-I-am._

The lar wobbled, and fell out of the pages of book three and fell into book two.

**Chris:** _The plains! The plains! The plains! The plains! Could you, would you, on the Burning Plains?_

**Arya:** _Not on the plains! Not in book three! Not with you, not with he!_

**Chris:** _He?_

**Arya:** _Eragon._

**Chirs:** _Oh._

**Arya**: _Anyways, Not in a lar, Chris, let me be!_

**Arya:** _I would not, could not, on a mat. I could not, would not with a were-cat. I wouldn't couldn't with a rat!_

**Chris:** _Was that a double negative?_

**Arya:** _WHATEVER! I will not eat them with a digested mouse. I will not eat them in a house. I will not eat them here or there. I will not eat them anywhere. I do not eat green dragon eggs and ham. I do not like them, Paolini-I-am._

The were-cat was contently starting to eat on the second mouse's ears.

Suddenly, a gust of wind came, and the lar was blown all the way to the beginning of book two, inside Farthen Dur, in the dark of course.

**Chris:** _Say! In the dark? Here in the dark! Would you, could you, in the dark?_

**Arya:** _I would not, could not in the dark._

Another gust of wind blew the lar out of book two and into book one, where they landed in the rainstorm that slowed down Eragon, Saphira, and Brom when they were on their way to Yasuac. The tail of the mouse shook violently in the wind. (As it was the only bit outside of the were-cat's mouth of course)

**Chris:**_ Would you, could you, in the rain?_

**Arya:** _I would not, could not, in the rain. Not in the dark. Not on the plains. Not in a lar. Not in book three. Not with you, not with he. I do not like them, Chris, you see. Not in a house. Not on a mat. Not with a digested mouse. Not with a were-cat. I will not eat them here or there. I do not like them anywhere!_

The were-cat snatched a third mouse as the lar came tumbling out of book one and back into book two.

**Chris:** _You do not like green dragon eggs and ham?_

**Arya:** _I do not like them, Paolini-I-am._

They landed on the deck of the Dragon Wing with a Thud.

THUD.

**Chris:** _Could you, would you, on a boat?_

**Arya:** _I would not, could not on a boat!_

Suddenly, Durza appeared from book one and was standing beside the lar.

**Chris:** _Would you, could you, while Durza gloats?_

Arya was so angry, she made the ship blow up with her magic, As everyone was falling into the water, Arya said:

**Arya:** _I could not, would not, while Durza gloats._

_I will not, will not, on a boat._

_I will not eat them in the rain._

_I will not eat them in the dark._

_I will not eat them with a lark._

_I will not eat them on the plains._

_Not in a lar! You and he, let me be!_

_I do not like them on a mat._

_I do not like them with a were-cat._

_I do not like them with a rat._

_I will not eat them in a house._

_I do not like them with a mouse._

_I do not like them here or there._

_I do not like them anywhere!_

They fell into the water with a splash.

SPLASH!

**Arya:**_ I do not like green dragon eggs and ham!_

Arya and Chris resurfaced, and Chris said;

**Chris:** _You do not like them. So you say. Try them! Try them! And you may. Try them and you may, I say._

Arya finally gave up, with Christopher Paolini, The were-cat (who was chewing on the third mouse), Durza, Jeod, Uthar and his men, and all the villagers of Carvahall watching.

**Arya:** _Chris! If you will let me, I will try them. You will see._

Arya methodically cut the ham and stared at the piece of it. Everyone was watching her, even the third mouse had stuck it's head out from the were-cats lips. Time seemed to freeze for a second, as she put the piece of ham, into her mouth.

Everyone gasped.

**Arya:** _Say! I like green dragon eggs and ham!_

_I do! I like them, Paolini-I-am!_

_And I would eat them while Durza gloats._

_And I would eat them on a boat…_

Arya and Christopher started walking to shore.

**Arya:** _And I will eat them in the rain. And in the dark. And on the plains. And in a lar. And in book three. They are so good, so good you see!_

They were on land now, Arya touched the green dragon egg, and sealed her fate.

**Arya:** _I think I will be a dragon rider in book three!_

_I will eat them on a mat._

_And I will eat them with a were-cat._

_And I will eat them in a house._

_And I will eat them with a mouse._

_And I will eat them here or there._

_Say! I will eat them ANYWHERE!_

Arya stopped and put her hand on Christopher Paolini's shoulders and exclaimed;

**Arya:**_ I do so like green dragon eggs and ham!_

Thank you! Thank you, Paolini-I-Am!

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I love you Dr. Seuss.

Read and Review.


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